The latest on that Nuclear negotiation (with apologies to the Scottish Daily Record, 2nd October 2013, and Tian Tian the panda)

The UK’s only likely nuclear power plant site is still behaving as though it is going to be built, DECC bosses said, as their wait goes on for the arrival of a deal.

Energy Minister Michael Fallon said they are still within the time-frame for a possible deal but stressed that EDF is “definitely not a textbook company”.

Nuclear power plant negotiation is not an exact science and it remains “really difficult” to tell if a specific negotiation will come to fruition, the department said in a statement.

Vincente (Sweetie) has been keeping his board, and the public, guessing over the possible power plant since he was artificially showered with cash well before April.

In August, DECC said EDF was showing encouraging signs of giving birth to a power plant. Vincente was later placed on 24-hour surveillance, with early expectations that EDF would come to an agreement in late August or September.

In early September, the department cautioned that any birth could happen much later than previously thought. Now it remains the case that no one can say for sure whether Vincente is gestating a power plant, or, if he is, when it might appear.

DECC said it is still possible EDF is expecting and they will continue to prepare for a new arrival.

“Nuclear power plant gestation is not a precise science and, combined with this, each company has their own individual demands and Vincente is definitely not a textbook CEO,” a departmental spokeswoman said.

“Whilst Vincente continues to behave like he’s about to agree to build a power plant and whilst his hormones, behaviour and physical changes suggest the same, we will continue to manage him accordingly; as soon as we know otherwise we will of course announce this.

“To put it into context, there are no experts around the world who can say definitively how long a nuclear power plant with no public subsidy takes to build.

“It is really difficult to tell if an energy company is serious and when they might develop something, mainly due to pseudo and lost development promises that occur with this type of company and that they can practise delayed implantation.

“Unfortunately the results from predictive tests used in nuclear power negotiations around the world to determine seriousness can only be understood historically and as time goes on and more results become available we build up a fuller picture of when Vincente could go for it. We are still within timings.

“A large number of cutting-edge scientific tests are still in their infancy. In fact, EDF is only the third company we have tried all this on with.”

If a power station does happen, it could easily be missed because of the small size of its output.

EDF and her shadowy companion the Guangdong Nuclear Energy authority arrived in Great Britain from France and China recently. DECC bosses hoped the pair would get them out of the clarts naturally when they produced enough underwriting.

But national security experts ruled out putting them together after assessing their behaviour and Vincente was artificially financially induced using cash from the British public and other sources.


For the original update on Tian Tian the panda please go to

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s