Another weighty document that appeared last week from the wordsmiths below deck as it were was the ‘Green Deal and Energy Company Obligation ’ consultation document. At last we’re going to learn just how the Green Deal will work in practice. And it’s going to be simple and straightforward as we’ve been promised. So , lets dip in then…. It’s two hundred and thirty six pages: not a good sign: sixty four questions: hope they’re answered by the time the scheme starts in a few months time.
Well it’s ….it’s impenetrable. Here’s a sample. (p 54)
‘the assessment will make recommendations for energy efficiency improvements and predict the likely energy savings. Whereas the domestic assessment will provide an estimate of the cost of the installation measure and hence the likely payback period, the costs for non-domestic properties are likely to vary significantly depending on the building in question and so only an estimate of the running cost savings will be provided, based on a simple representation of the business’s marginal fuel tariff(s) or a default value. It is proposed that the tool will not represent the detail of the fuel tariffs, for example structured or variable tariffs. See chapter four for details of how these figures will be used in developing a quote for a Green Deal plan.’
Hmmm. I’m not sure this sort of stuff is going to pave the way effortlessly for the squillions of Green Deals that will need to be concluded in order to make it work.
Still, the Marx brothers had most of the answers to knotty problems such as this. Here’s Groucho and Chico sorting a contract out in a much more straightforward way:
CHICO: Hey wait – wait! What does this say here? This thing here?
GROUCHO: Oh that? Oh that’s the usual clause. That’s in every contract. That just says uh – it says – uh – if any of the parties participating in the contract is shown not to be in their right mind, the entire contract is automatically nullified.
CHICO: Well, I don’t know…
GROUCHO: It’s all right. That’s – that’s in every contract. That’s what they call ‘the sanity clause’.
CHICO: Oh no. you can’t fool me. There ain’t no sanity clause.